Oh-oh!

Oh-oh!

 I suddenly realized, that I could talk about the number of pages I write during any given day.

Since this blog is for me, it is supposed to help me and animate me to write more.
Not because I have to, but because I want to, but struggle with the process. Now that I am so nicely getting again and again into “flows”, I seem to need to challenge myself more?!
I like the idea.
But the idea also scares me.
I feel like it would be such an outing.
So maybe I need to start with an outing right now, to kick it off.
I don´t actually write that much per day. Sometimes, often, nothing.
There you go.
I call myself a writer, but do not write.
I would have been deeply ashamed in the past to write this. Already just to write it. I am not talking about publishing it and letting people, anyone, know. I would have been ashamed in front of myself.
Now I feel – mixed. A little embarassed. But feeling optimistic. Because I actually write now much more often then ever before. And I do not write autobiographically all the time, like ten plus years ago when I wrote more regularly for a while.
I write because I want to.
I do not write because I have to.
And sometimes writing just two lines is such a pleasure and success.
And then, on days like these, when I write more then a page, I feel – serene and pleased.
Feeling simply pleased is truely underestimated.