Other things....

It´s been a very quiet and exciting time the last week or two since I haven´t been writing on this blog (much).
I haven´t been writing otherwise either.
Not at all.
Zero.
Zich,
Guess what?
So what?! - that is how I truely feel.
I am really amazed and thankful.
I have finally taken the time and determination - and the help of this blog and many supporters - to write.
And realized, that wekk, maybe, possibly....no, no, this is absolutely the wrong way of putting it!
Let me start that sentence again: I have realized, that I love to have great ideas of/on books. And I have them all the time. I even dreamt an action thriller revolving around an elevator!
But - this doesn´t mean I want to actually write the books.
because, quite frankly, I don´t.
Maybe this will change.
But now I can pretty safely say, that the reason I haven´t written in all these years, not to mention decades, is because I simply didn´t really want to.
Life can be so simple.
I just always found it so hard to accept.
That life can be so simple.
So I have been (re-)discovering what it is that I really want to be doing daily.
Not what I should be or not what will necessarily make me a living.
It´s been such a - surprise - quiet ride!

So, friends and fans, stay tuned.
Because I have also discovered, that I enjoy this blog and sometimes want to say something.
And by all means I will.
After all: I DID name the blog also "writing about other things...".

It´s strange...

It´s strange.
I just do not have the desire to write.
I have all these great book ideas and these great story-lines. I still think of them occasionally, but I just do not feel I want to actually write any part of them.
At least not now.
Right now, I feel I want to do lots of different things, which I am actually doing.
Strangely I do not feel at all like I want to or am lamenting about doing or not doing anything.
I feel like I am doing exactly what I want to be doing.
Strange.
But, guess what?! Great!

Writing about not-writing

I wanted to write, that maybe I should rename my blog, which would also reflect phases of non-writing. But then, this is what this whole blog is about. The struggle between writing and not writing.

I just read somewhere that writing begets writing.
SO true!
A friend of mine sent me a link, which is meant to help you challenge yourself on writing a certain amount of words a day, 6 days a week. So clever.
And so typical me to be all excited about the prospect and "need" some outside "stimulus" to then continue with something I claim is what I want.

I need to think more about what I want.
Or maybe not.
Maybe I just need to think less and write more.
Hm.

Being yourself...naturally.

I have been really thoughtful this week, thinking a lot about writing and what it means to me.
Or what it doesn´t mean to me.
The ewige question in my life.
And I really do not think I have received now the big answer from above.
Sorry to disappoint...
But I did realize one thing: You just need to be yourself.
The good, the bad and the ugly.
Because at the end of the day, you can try and you can change and you can be all sorts of things, but nothing will come as naturally as being you! And nothing beside what comes naturally will really work.
Or let´s say work in a way that will make you (reasonably) happy and comfortable.
And guess what?!
This is not (necessarily) a universal truth.
Nope.
This is just my own, personal truth.
Take it or leave it.
Whatever works for you, will work for you.

Pensive

I have been really pensive this week.
So I haven´t written here much.
Interestingly, I find that I have gotten further then in some very active weeks.
Hm.

Still @ finding my own voice

I am still thinking a lot about the term "finding your own voice".
Whether related to writing or in life.
This is such an interesting endeavour to be on.
Like in the titel "Still @ finding my own voice": That is definately not my own voice, that sounds like Twitterese to me. But I am curious how many people it will speak to, as it is the voice of "nowaday".

I have mentioned before that I am working on several books at once. I think one of the reasons is that I want to be able to speak in different voices.

I am rambling on....many thoughts....
Back to writing now...

Oh-oh!

Oh-oh!

 I suddenly realized, that I could talk about the number of pages I write during any given day.

Since this blog is for me, it is supposed to help me and animate me to write more.
Not because I have to, but because I want to, but struggle with the process. Now that I am so nicely getting again and again into “flows”, I seem to need to challenge myself more?!
I like the idea.
But the idea also scares me.
I feel like it would be such an outing.
So maybe I need to start with an outing right now, to kick it off.
I don´t actually write that much per day. Sometimes, often, nothing.
There you go.
I call myself a writer, but do not write.
I would have been deeply ashamed in the past to write this. Already just to write it. I am not talking about publishing it and letting people, anyone, know. I would have been ashamed in front of myself.
Now I feel – mixed. A little embarassed. But feeling optimistic. Because I actually write now much more often then ever before. And I do not write autobiographically all the time, like ten plus years ago when I wrote more regularly for a while.
I write because I want to.
I do not write because I have to.
And sometimes writing just two lines is such a pleasure and success.
And then, on days like these, when I write more then a page, I feel – serene and pleased.
Feeling simply pleased is truely underestimated.